Please Hold

Ok, so this rant is much better told in person, but I feel the need to vent.

My wife called me a couple of days ago, because she noticed that 38,000 of our rewards points were expiring, and could I call to see if we can get them back at least long enough to redeem them..

Here is where my rant begins. Why, oh why, do companies feel the need to interject messages in the hold music to let you know that, well, you are still on hold? Here is how my first call to Wells Fargo went...

"Thank you for calling, someone will be with you shortly" *Hold Music*

At this point I do what any normal person would do. I put the phone back on the hook, with it on speaker, and go about my work. A couple of minutes later..

"Thank you for.." I scramble to the phone hit the speaker button and pick up the receiver to put it to my ear to start talking.

"...calling wells Fargo, please hold for the next available representative." *Hold Music*

I grumble, put speaker phone back on and put the phone back on the hook, and get back to concentrating on work.

"Wells Fargo.." Once again I snatch up the receiver and hit the speaker phone button at the same time. I mildly crack myself in the head with the receiver, but no biggie. Finally I will get to talk to someone.

".. is currently experiencing a high volume of call traffic. Thank you for holding." *Hold Music*

Mother fucker! I hit speaker phone and slam down the receiver. Back to work again...

"Your.." Phone Grab, Speaker phone button press.

"call is important to us! Please stay on the line, and we'll be right with you!" *Hold Music*

I hate you guys! I hate you! Death! I hate you! Look, I know I am on hold! I am not that dumb. You don't need to keep reminding me that I am on hold. Leave on your pathetic hold music so I can blank it out and get back to doing work. Every time a voice comes on the line, it redirects my attention to the phone when I could be concentrating on other things at work. HOLD MESSAGES WASTE MY TIME AND ANNOY ME! To make it worse, some places, like this one, have MULTIPLE HOLD MESSAGES THAT CHANGE, so its not like I can hear it once and then learn my lesson and blank out future occurrences of that message. No, the message changes every time so I have to redirect my attention to it every time.

Whomever thought of this idea needs to be forced to bungee off a 30 story building with the bungee cord attached to a very special sexual part of theirs.

I'm getting a Christmas Tree tonight, can you tell I'm in the holiday spirit?